Feed the Need

 

Negative experiences and thoughts…let’s stop them!

Ever go through a shitstorm? Yeah, those are fun and tend to last as long as you keep feeding them. It took my YEARS to understand how undeveloped my coping ability was with my own emotions. Sometimes you’ve got to go through a few (or more) shitstorms to realize your strategy isn’t working.

What you feed grows. If you harbor anger and feed it the thoughts it wants it will grow. If you have something good in your life and think about it often guess what, it will grow. Whatever you think will consume your thoughts and you slowly become it. It’s a interesting concept which is hard to think about when you’re in the dumps of a storm. But let’s try!

To begin my journey of positivity and overcoming difficult situations I overloaded myself with positive quotes on a daily basis. I practiced stepping outside of my thoughts and situation and looked at them as a stranger. When you are no longer looking at things as your own you can get a better grasp on the emotional content.

Wear a reminder. A bracelet, a ring, or necklace that you look at and remember to step outside of the situation. Begin your day with a reminder and end your day with a reminder.

Life, like anything, is work. What you feed grows. Feed the negative and it will multiply. Feed the positive and it will multiply.

 

What are you going to feed today?

My Reminder

When I’m feeling less than optimistic this is the last place I want to be; on my optimistic blog.

I’ve been over my head with work and personal life. Not cool to do to myself. Today I’m blaming myself constructively. Problems seem pretty simple to fix from outside of the situation. Problem? Find it and fix it. Bam. Done! Nothing more. Unless you don’t really want to fix it…or you actually have not learned how to deal with intricate problems involving emotions. So, amongst my week of the walking dead (because that’s what I feel like) I have decided to sit down and work it out. Here’s my typical funk remover test:

1. How do you feel?
2. What is making you feel that way?
3. How can you simplify, or completely remove, this feeling?
4. How does the problem get solved?

In the grand scheme of things it’s pretty easy to lose the big picture of what you’re exactly doing and focus on the emotion currently. It’s not easy to retrain our minds but I believe it’s important when it comes to negative feelings and holding onto emotions. 

Once I’ve got the big picture I can see the little emotions much clearer and realize they were never worth my time feeling. Back to the path, the journey, or whatever you personally call it. 

It is not what is happening in my life that is the problem, it is how I am handling it that is the problem. 

Find, fix, and don’t forget!

STOP and Remember Who You Are

Today I lost track of time (mostly work time) and after finishing the day and putting my son to bed I completely threw work to the side and watched an indie movie. FYI – “I Like You” is good. However, now here I am into the next day time frame and I’ve really not gotten much done. I started to feel the tense pressure crawling over my neck and shoulders and I began to slouch in my chair.

I remembered this image I passed by and saved a while back (I really wish I could credit who made it). It struck a chord with me. Whenever I start to feel pressure from outside sources (work, family, friends..etc) I tend to forget that I AM in control, I forget who I am and what I want because others ideas and issues have transformed me into what they wanted.

Sometimes I am the clay to a friend who needs to mold me, in that moment, for their own use. Sometimes I’m molded and I never return to my original shape(s) and sometimes it takes a while to realize I haven’t gotten back to ME until I sit at my work desk and slowly get closer to the floor. Empathy can be draining and, at the same time, rewarding.

Who am I? Why am I doing exactly what I’m doing RIGHT now? What is its purpose?

Those questions can bring me back to my center. No pressure, just remember. Forget what you’ve internalized from work and the rest of life and remember who you are. What good things feel like, what makes you smile, what makes your heart beat out of your chest and what makes you look forward to tomorrow. What are you looking forward to?

Now, back to business…one thing at a time.

Food and Simplicity

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” – Albert Einstein

Today I woke up with my son jumping on my stomach announcing it is “wake up time” and that means it is also time to make breakfast. His favorite time of the day is breakfast, and snack time.

I always pay close attention to what he asks for to eat. It is in those moments when I realize the simplicity of life.

“I want avocado, mommy!” he shouted, I responded “for breakfast?” “yes, cause it’s good and yummy.”

Cause it’s good and yummy. One fruit that has fallen off our large trees and landed in our backyard became the staple of breakfast, and sometimes lunch. Often I go to grand recipes of time and elaborate design to prepare something unique and pleasing to the tongue. But in the moments of frustration I can forget sometimes the simplicity of life; one item can be just as magnificent. A sunny morning in the garden munching on a perfectly ripe avocado while my son talks about the food we grow. And although he doesn’t yet understand, he is having a philosophical conversation about life and soaking in all the wonderful simplicity of it.

These moments can quickly be erased by the watch on our wrists or the phone call about a project for work, but setting time aside to have simplicity where nothing happens can be the most motivating moment. When these moments happen with a friend or my son I like to think it’s a bit like social meditating.

Take in the details, the sensations, the conversation, and have an avocado.

First Pumpkin!

First pumpkin of the summer.

While watering and checking the garden I found our first pumpkin ready to be plucked. It is not grand in size but JUST right. A beautiful orange color. Along with the pumpkin were about 20 tomatoes sun ripened and ready to pluck.

It is always exciting to see everything grow and thrive and know you have made it so (along with mother nature!) but the most exciting part is that I did not plant any pumpkin seeds this Spring. This pumpkin was the aftermath of excellent composting. I believe a handful of pumpkin seeds from last years batch were mixed in with our compost…and here it is! Beautiful. I am a huge advocate for composting and keeping it organic. A good compost pile can create one of the best gardens.

Now onto the harder part, WHAT am I going to make out of this pumpkin?! Pumpkin bread, pie, pumpkin ice cream? The possibilities are endless.

The Journey

My journey to a simpler and kinder life began years ago, I just didn’t know it. I have always been in a juggling act of being completely one way. Whether that was 100% vegan and conscious of everything or 100% carnivore and didn’t contemplate anything.
After years of testing what I liked and what I didn’t I came to a decision that not everything had to be down to a science. As long as I’m practicing and trying to live that simpler and kinder life I will at least be balanced and happy. In a world (mine would be Los Angeles) where much is accepted and all is criticized it is easy to lose grasp of what one is doing here.
My desire is really to find the brighter side of things, lift my own spirits and maybe someone else’s while keeping a diary of this experience. Browsing other’s ideas and concoctions within their lifestyles is extremely intriguing as well as products that work for me.

Sometimes it’s overwhelming with the multitude of amazing ideas around the internet. I am always overstimulated and jump from topic to topic. Here I hope to condense the things I love into one place and keep them under my belt.

Be Kind,
TKG